New Visions

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It’s been one of “those” weeks

The following post was written by my “very own” brother, Bill Howard.  It was written on a social media forum which will remain anonymous.   I asked his permission to share it with my readers, we’ve all been a victim of the following scenario but I’ve never heard it put so….well, just read for yourself and see if you don’t agree.   Enjoy!

It’s been one of ‘those’ weeks.

So when I arrived at Wal-Mart this afternoon I was in no mood to endure pushing a shopping cart with three square wheels around ten acres of h*ll. What is it with Wal-Mart and their POS carts?  Last week I had a cart with one wheel that was severely flattened and caused a resounding ka-clank ka-clank ka-clank the entire time I was shopping. As I struggled to keep the… cart from veering to the left and not bring attention to myself by crashing into fellow shoppers I tried to remember the last time I was in Wal-Mart and DIDN’T have a crippled cart.
I couldn’t remember.
 I began to take a tally of other shoppers pushing carts that made no noise, (like the ones in Publix which are all but silent), and guess what? The number was zero. They ALL were clanking, clinking, wobbling, etc. So today I decided I was NOT going to suffer with yet another crappy cart.
Cart #1 — Wal-Mart has cleverly installed a rough surface tile in the foyer to disguise the sound of a crippled cart, knowing full well that by the time shoppers push it beyond the tile and onto the glass-smooth floor most people won’t turn back and exchange their rotten, lopsided, noisy carts for another. When my cart hit the smooth concrete and was still wobbling, clanking and clunking, I simply stopped and left it where it was and went back for another.
Cart #2 — Not as bad as Cart #1 but totally unacceptable so I abandoned it and turned back.
Cart #3 — I now had the attention of the old guy who stands guard over the cart area (Lord of the carts), he asked if he could help me. I was fuming and told him I just wanted one that had four round wheels. I hit the concrete and #3 was just as crappy as #1 so I left it in my cart graveyard and whipped back for another.
 Cart #4 –as the Lord of the carts was going to retrieve #1, 2 and 3,  I passed him and guess what? Ka-clank Ka-clank Ka-clank. WTH?? That’s when my brain exploded. “What do you people DO to these things? Is there someone who comes in at night and purposely flat-spots all the wheels?? Do you run over them with your cars when no one is looking? Do you BUY them this way just to p*ss me off? How could a billion dollar company possibly have so many s**t pile carts?”.
 I could see security making their way towards me through the gathering crowd of onlookers so I jumped up onto the nearest check-out (which was CLOSED, of course) and began screaming; “I want a good cart! I demand a cart with round wheels and doesn’t rattle or shake or pull to one side!!” As I was being dragged out of the store by three burly security guards I was still shouting, “A cart! A cart! My kingdom for a good cart!!”. OK, so maybe I made up the last part, but you all know what I mean. I finished my shopping, ka-clank, ka-clank, ka-clanking all the way through the store.
Bill Howard
So dear friends… Are you sick and tired of carts with four square wheels?   Lets start a revolution!  EVERYONE across the world, return every cart that goes ka-clank, ka-clank, ka-clank and keep returning those carts until you find one that is silent!  We demand to have good carts!
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2 comments on “It’s been one of “those” weeks

  1. Debra Price Cox
    July 8, 2012

    WOW! I throughly enjoyed this…Could have been written from my mind. I thought maybe they were just built that way, but my hubby says gnomes flatten one tire on every cart or “buggy” as he calls them.

    • sherrylcook
      July 8, 2012

      Maybe we should investigate this and set up a posse to find out who’s flattening the tires.
      Might be gnomes, aliens…?

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This entry was posted on July 7, 2012 by in Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , .

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