"Seeing" things a little differently
So the title caught your attention…..Happily ever after. The first thing most of you will think about when you see this is, ok, she must be writing about getting married and living with your mate forever more…… happy as can be. This is the way it always ends in the fairy tale books isn’t it? The prince and the princess live happily ever after? As a child that’s the way I thought it was supposed to be.
But life got in the way of that…… it has a tendency to do that sometimes. Things happen that are out of our control. Everyone has a story, something that gets in the way of their own personal magical ending. for me personally, it was my birth defect on my eye. read “about me” to find out more. It was difficult for me to even get a date much less get married. I eventually did get married, but maybe it was out of desperation, thinking I should marry this person because I may not get another chance. Who knows the real reason, I was young and dumb.
The marriage lasted 21 years, we hung in there but it was a long tumultuous relationship. We had two wonderful daughters that blessed my life endlessly. by the time we divorced, my self-esteem was lower than low and I had so much built up resentment because of “life’s ” roadblocks and speed bumps.
Being single at the age of forty was eventful to say the least. I wanted so badly to have a great relationship with a man. I really had no idea what that felt like. I just wanted to be loved for who I was and what I looked like. I searched and found love, or so I thought. I made the man out to be what I wanted him to be. I didn’t search for the real truth.
I suffered through blind dates, attending social funtions totally alone and wondering if I would ever find that one guy that could make me happy. I was the kind of girl who just wanted to be married and grow old while in love with that one man. It just wasn’t meant to be…..for me.
After enduring years of aloneness, I started to search within. There had to be a compromise somehow. How could I truly be happy alone? I began slowly, one step at a time, finding little things that brought me joy. making a garden, reading books that interested me, spending time with friends that were positive and renovating my home. Slowly…..I found a peace, a calmness that I had never felt before. I was experiencing love…..for myself. I am a good person, I deserve the very best, I am someone special.
Maybe it’s not meant for me to find that man I have in my dreams. But one thing is for certain, I HAVE found myself and I have found a new love for me. I will be good to myself for the rest of my days.
And if you are blessed to be with the man of your dreams, you must still allow yourself to nurture, meditate and love yourself. You are the maker of your happiness, do not give that power to anyone else.
As for me? I will continue to listen to my gut instincts, love myself and continue reach for that inner peace that only comes with love.
Happily ever after? yes, I will live happily ever after….will you?