"Seeing" things a little differently
The following is an excerpt from my memoirs written for my family and anyone who it may inspire. It is written under “Lessons learned”. which are too many to list really….. I’ve added a video that helped me to appreciate life…. hope you enjoy…
The fact that I experienced a youth filled with anxiety, low self esteem and humility because of my birth defect. I learned so much about human nature. I learned that most people are just curious when someone is not “normal” these people are not necessarily “mean”, they just don’t know how to react. My friends liked me because of “me”, they were true friends, the kind that will do anything for you. I never had to worry about someone’s motives behind their friendship or relationship. I had to endure the people who were mean and hateful; I saw the bad in people that enjoyed hurting other people’s feelings. I learned that these people always had issues of their own. I was able to gain insight into people’s actions early on in life which I’m sure kept me out of a lot of grief and pain later on. I learned to know what was important and not be materialistic or “fake”. How in the world could I fake my eye? I had to overcome loneliness and rely on myself early in life. I had to learn who to trust and how to “make do”.
I also have wonderful memories of growing up around family that loved me. Real love does not “see” what is on the outside, but the heart of a person which is inside. I always had a sense of appreciation of the beauty in this world, whether it is a beautiful sunrise, a baby’s smile or just a bug crawling on the ground. When someone understands that they might find themselves blind one day, you take in everything around you and see it from another perspective.
My daughters continue to teach me how precious every single moment is and to make the best of every situation. I’m so proud of them and if I died tomorrow I would be at peace with my role in their lives. I know that they will continue to “Scatter Joy” in others lives. That is a part of me that will live through them. I want them to understand that everything I did or said was for their own learning lessons. My Grandchildren were the blessing of my lifetime and the reason for telling my story. I want them to learn my lessons and carry on and live as if there is no tomorrow.
My closest friends, Michelle, Jan, and Kathy, I have learned so many lessons from all of you, some more than others but all very important in my life. Michelle, the sister that I never had, we shared some outrageous memories of fun, laughter, tears and longevity. I learned patience, understanding and sisterhood. Jan, we are joined at the hip, unconditional love between us, and Kathy, my dear friend Kathy who has struggled with more than her share of life’s lessons. We are spiritual sisters who have a deep sense of our reasons for being on this earth. You are an inspiration to me for overcoming your fears and your sense of being “real”. Because of you I will always “Scatter Joy” to others in my path, and in that sense you will live on as long as I am on this earth.
My lessons from my intimate relationships which include my husbands and boyfriends have been the most challenging of all. Time and time again I failed to learn what I needed to learn. I made the same mistakes and I fell harder and harder each time. I feel blessed to have had these men in my life. Even if the relationship was a bad one, it was all part of my journey and my destiny. I thank you all for giving me the knowledge that I have now to enjoy and appreciate my current and most satisfying relationship of all.
I’ve learned valuable lessons from the disadvantaged people that I work with every day. I see the dark side that some have to live with and the struggles that go along with it. I also see the human spirit strive for happiness whatever a persons place in this life is. I know that their love is unconditional and they know no boundaries. I also learned that music is the universal language when all else fails. I gained a sense of reward while working with them that I could not have received anywhere else. I hope I’ve made at least some kind of difference in some of their lives. I will remember them always.
My wish for you, the reader of my story is this,