"Seeing" things a little differently
It’s 6:30 am on a saturday morning and I am awakened by the phone ringing beside my ear. As I try to arouse myself into consciousness to utter the word “hello?” I hear my mother’s voice on the other end saying ” are you ready? We’re waiting on you, hurry up!”
I tumble out of bed and throw on some clothes hoping that it matches because my eyes have not focused enough to identify colors yet. I don’t worry about make up or the way I look, “I mean my goodness, it’s just yard sales” I think to myself. I quickly brush my teeth so I don’t knock out everyone I come in contact with, grab my purse (gotta have that, I have twenty dollars in there!) and out the door I run.
After working forty hours a week Mon. – Fri. it’s a real challenge to get up so early and go to garage sales with my mother, aunts and whomever else wants to drag along with us. (every week there is a new victim that we entice into tagging along.) Today is no different, we have my mother, two aunts and my best friend Michelle. this is going to be interesting.
I walk outside, my eyes squinting from the bright sun while I’m thinking….”maybe I should have stayed in the bed and slept.” My mother and aunts are in the car WAITING on me at 6:30 in the morning! oh my gosh! I jump in the back seat as you can hear the tires screeching and see the dust flying behind the car as we speed off towards the first stop…..the destination? Yard sale!
Here I am in the car with three ladies in their sixties (all sisters) and my best friend Michelle who is not accustomed to going to “yard sales” and we are all looking for that wonderful treasure that will cost almost nothing. The organized aunt has every yard sale mapped out in advance on a clipboard numbered in sequence with a map attached. (This is before navigators ever existed). As we travel to yard sale # 1, I say cheerfully “I’m hungry”. Suddenly I get four pairs of eyes glaring at me as if I had insulted them or something. ” you should have eaten something before you left” they all say simultaneously.
The appointed “driver” of the morning is deemed to be always right. No matter what turn or path they choose, they are always right! each yard saler (is that a word?) donates a dollar or two for the use of the car and gas. When the first one pays you will see one dollar bills flying toward the front seat coming from all directions. Another yard saler is awarded the task of finding the signs on the side of the road, they are to yell out when they have spotted a sign, regardless of any conversation that may be happening and say “SIGN! turn here, right here!” as the driver rides past without even flinching…..remember, she is always right.
As we approach the first yard sale on the agenda the car doesn’t even make it to a full stop when all four doors fly open and three ladies with gray hair and two thirty something ladies race towards the sale to find their treasure. God forbid if the sale had been advertised in the newspaper the day before and the goods are not set out yet. These ladies will be in their garage looking for anything that resembles yard sale trinkets. “By george, if they advertise having a yard sale at 7 am, then they should be setting it out by now” is a common response.
My poor friend Michelle is a little leery about yard sales, she likes to buy new things, not anything that has been “used.” She has seen some of the wonderful bargains we have found in the past and decided that she would give it a try…..she had no idea what she was in for. By the time she had gotten to her third or fourth sale she was beating us out of the car and racing toward the sales to get first dibs on anything she could find.
At one point while we were en route to the next destination, one of the aunt’s shouted “there’s a yard sale! right there”. As the driver slowed the car to a stop to see if she was right, she jumped out of the car and walked up the driveway and began looking through some tools out on a table. The homeowners had a startled look on their faces and just stared at her. “How much do you want for this hammer?” the aunt asked. The homeowner responded with an alarmed tone to his voice, “Mam, I’m sorry, but that’s not for sale, we’re just working on our house.” As we were all in the car screaming with laughter, she slowly came back to the car and stated very matter of fact “come on, let’s get to the next sale.”
By 11 am we have found our treasures for the day, we are exhausted and hungry, ready to get home to admire our goods. We pull into the last yard sale and everyone piles out of the car, moving just a wee bit slower than earlier. I don’t see anything of interest so I head back to the car to wait on the others. As each of us returns, we wait for the last person…..Michelle. FINALLY, she jumps in the car smiling from ear to ear. “Look what I found! what a deal!” exclaimed my friend. “What is this?” my aunt says looking at the treasure curiously. Michelle responds smugly ” it’s a wine holder basket.” As we pass it around everyone is looking at it, “how much was it?”
Michelle answers “only two dollars! and look at the inscription, it’s in french, it say’s beau Rivage.” using a french sounding dialect to her voice, (trying to sound all sophisticated.) As the wine basket holder comes to me I read the inscription and it suddenly occurred to me that it said, “Beau Rivage” which was a casino that had opened in our area and a free gift they were giving to all of the customers! As soon as I revealed the identity of her “treasure” you could see the bubble burst in Michelle’s ego immediately. We laughed until we were in tears, including Michelle.