New Visions

"Seeing" things a little differently

Committed relationship, again?

Second and third marriages are becoming more and more common. Some call them second chances or committed relationship, again?

Most adults my age ( lets just say…thirty and above ) have experienced or know someone who has entered into “another” relationship because of some unforeseen circumstance that caused their first serious relationship to end.


How do two different worlds join together to make one?  So opposite, yet similar? 

When two people meet and discover each other, they learn about the others beliefs, character and past experiences.  In time, they begin to understand how their past will  influence their actions and reactions to current situations. 

There is an attraction which draws them together, they keep learning and discovering each other.  Past circumstances  from both of their lives will sneak out from time to time no matter how deep each has tried to hide these traits.

* Can we change what the past has created within us?

* Even after we recover from a past trial, will it alter the way we react to  similar situations in the future?

 Some of the emotions that may cause us to react differently are:

Anger or hurt from a past relationship.

Sadness or humility from a tragic accident.

Low self  esteem or fear from abuse or neglect.

Remorse or guilt from making a terrible mistake.

Whatever the emotion or past issues, we must change the negative into a positive. By doing this we can continue to nurture the emotion that was broken in the past and let it live through a positive outcome.

Sounds easy doesn’t it?  Just when you think you are over whatever it was that got you down in the first place then WHAM!   your past will rear its ugly head and look you straight in the eyes.  How will you deal?   One thing is for sure, don’t fall into the trap of making the same mistake twice.

The statistics for failed  second marriages is 60% while failed third marriages is 73%  read more on this subject here.  Information on Divorce Rate Statistics

If you want your second marriage or committed relationship to work, read more from the experts here Making Your Second Marriage Work – iVillage

What do you think?  Can we let go of our past failures and hurts to truly open ourselves up again for a successful relationship? 

Feel free to share your experiences and let us know if it worked for you and how you made it work.  enquiring minds want to know!


5 comments on “Committed relationship, again?

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  3. Abby Rae
    June 19, 2012

    I’m here to say that anything is possible! My husband and I separated for over a year and have now been back together for 2 years. I had to look at what I did wrong instead of putting all the blame on him. When relationships fail it is NEVER just one person’s fault. I was involved with someone during the “interim” period and it wasn’t long before the same relationship pattern appeared with him as well. I learned I cannot change anyone but myself and started focusing on ME and making myself better!

    • sherrylcook
      June 20, 2012

      Your words are so true. You cannot control what others do, only yourself. You also should not blame yourself if your partner cheats or lies. I’m glad to hear things are working out for you!

      • Abby Rae
        June 20, 2012

        Thank You! We got our second wind! 😉

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