New Visions

"Seeing" things a little differently

A message to my daughters about marriage

This is a message to both of my daughters whom I love dearly. They can pass this on down to their daughters if they would like but I’m sure they will want to write their own. Things change so quickly in this world but some values and old sayings still hold true. The following are some things I want my daughters to know (in case they haven’t heard them yet.) I have one daughter that is already married and another will be getting married in six weeks.


Marriage is the biggest undertaking that you will ever commit to, other than your children.

Hopefully the husband you have chosen has the same core beliefs as you do so when obstacles appear (and they will) you will both be on the same page when overcoming the issues at hand.

Always give 110% in everything you do and only expect 50% in return.

Understand that men and women think and make decisions differently. Our brains are wired opposite of each other so don’t expect them to react the same way over issues.

Have you heard the old saying that “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach?” It’s true, your husband feels that when you cook for him you are showing love for him.

Men show their love for you in many different ways. It may not be in the “form” you would prefer but know that when they do the following things, it’s as good as a bouquet of flowers or a romantic “I love you .”  Helping to clean the house, providing, contacting you by email, message or phone for no reason, making love or fixing your car. There are many ways a man shows his love that are just as individual as he is. So the next time he changes the oil in your car…know that he is saying “I love you.”

If you start to feel angry over something, voice your opinion but do not let raw emotions take over. Let them know where you stand and be willing to compromise.

Know that this is a commitment and you will do everything you know to do to keep it sacred and honest.

Don’t try to win the war, pick your battles and work the rest out.

Don’t expect your marriage to be perfect. You will have disagreements and you will face difficult times, this is inevitable. Don’t dwell on the negatives, remember the reasons “why” you got married to begin with.

Always have respect for each other. Once you lose respect, the marriage will start to crumble.

Remember, you cannot control him. He is who he is, he will not change into the perfect person. The only thing you can change is YOU! and how you react.

Don’t ever get into a routine of doing or reacting to things the same way over and over. Each circumstance is different. Don’t be a robot and respond to things just because that’s the way you’ve always responded before.

Appreciate him and let him know how much you care. show him, tell him and act it.

IF an argument cannot be settled, then step away for a time and both of you should rethink it. Come back to discuss it in a different frame of mind and attitude and again be willing to compromise.

Do fun things together, keep trying new things that you both might enjoy.

Have your own “space”…(friends) that you can spend time with away and rejuvenate your spirit.

Continue to live your life and have your own goals and dreams. Have respect for yourselves and never ever think that you are not a wonderful person and deserving of having the most wonderful lives imaginable!

I’m sure you’ve heard most of these before, but if you really follow these things, a marriage will have more chances of survival. If you do everything in your power to make it work and it still fails then you will know that it was something way beyond your control.

Life is unpredictable, we never know from one day to another what it will become.

Make each minute, hour, and day count.

Most importantly know that your mama loves you!


2 comments on “A message to my daughters about marriage

  1. Pingback: The good, the bad and the ugly. | New Visions

  2. Zen and Genki
    September 7, 2012

    Wonderful post!

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This entry was posted on July 23, 2012 by in Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , .
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