"Seeing" things a little differently
As I sit behind my desk at work looking at the computer screen, I can’t help but wonder what am I doing here?
When I first came to work here I felt like this was exactly where I needed to be. I had never worked with this population before but…since I have experienced firsthand what it feels like to be labeled or put down. My issues with my eyes and near nearsightedness has taught me a lot about compassion for people who are deemed as less fortunate. Boy did I have a lot to learn!
After being here for just a short time I was promoted to writing plans, meeting with professionals and dealing with daily behaviors of the people that we support. The powers that be knew that I had a knack for this kind of thing. I loved what I was doing and I felt challenged, needed and that I was in some small way, making a difference.
I stood behind my company and I was proud of what we were doing.
Year after year, I saw changes in strategy coming down from the state guidelines. Every time we learned the new way….changes would come again. Some of the changes are good, but most are just having us run in circles. Then the economic crunch happened so they decided to cut our benefits and we haven’t had a raise in over five years.
I was demoted from my position of eight years because of “new guidelines” which crushed me and now I feel as if I have no purpose here. Everyone knows I was good at my job, but the fact that I don’t have a college degree threw me under the bus.
Due to the closure of the institutions, we now have harder to control behaviors and we are more at risk of actually getting injured now. We spend more time breaking up fights and dealing with behaviors than we do actually teaching vocational skills. We are not allowed to hold or even speak loudly to anyone or we will be investigated. Staff morale has declined steadily for the past five years.
I write a lot about following your passions and taking the steps to pursue your dreams but you have to think in reality about how you will support yourself also. I feel so stuck sometimes. I know my time here is limited. I cannot continue to just exist here wishing I were somewhere else.
I wonder how many of us are miserable at our jobs, working a mundane routine forty hours a week and missing out on greater challenges and creative avenues? I’ve done my homework, I’ve planned, worked, created and prayed for the opportunity to jump from the nest.
When? How? What?
I continue to believe that my dream will happen…but for now, it’s back to work, living with miserable co workers and dealing with the same problems day after day. At least I have a job…right?
How many of you are miserable working at your job?
Do you feel stuck because you can’t afford to do what you really want to do?
Are you living your dream?
Visit http://sherrylcook.com for my personal website and how I plan to break free! 🙂