New Visions

"Seeing" things a little differently

What am I doing here?

As I sit behind my desk at work looking at the computer screen, I can’t help but wonder what am I doing here?

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I work at a sheltered workshop for adults with developmental disabilities.  I have been here eleven years and I’ve seen and learned a lot.

When I first came to work here I felt like this was exactly where I needed to be.  I had never worked with this population before but…since I have experienced firsthand what it feels like to be labeled or put down.  My issues with my eyes and near nearsightedness has taught me a lot about compassion for people who are deemed as less fortunate. Boy did I have a lot to learn!

After being here for just a short time I was promoted to writing plans, meeting with professionals and dealing with daily behaviors of the people that we support.  The powers that be knew that I had a knack for this kind of thing.  I loved what I was doing and I felt challenged, needed and that I was in some small way, making a difference.

I stood behind my company and I was proud of what we were doing.

Year after year, I saw changes in strategy coming down from the state guidelines.  Every time we learned the new way….changes would come again.  Some of the changes are good, but most are just having us run in circles. Then the economic crunch happened so they decided to cut our benefits and we haven’t had a raise in over five years.

I was demoted from my position of eight years because of “new guidelines” which crushed me and now I feel as if I have no purpose here. Everyone knows I was good at my job, but the fact that I don’t have a college degree threw me under the bus.

Due to the closure of the institutions, we now have harder to control behaviors and we are more at risk of actually getting injured now.  We spend more time breaking up fights and dealing with behaviors than we do actually teaching vocational skills. We are not allowed to hold or even speak loudly to anyone or we will be investigated.  Staff morale has declined steadily for the past five years.

I write a lot about following your passions and taking the steps to pursue your dreams but you have to think in reality about how you will support yourself also.  I feel so stuck sometimes.  I know my time here is limited. I cannot continue to just exist here wishing I were somewhere else.

I wonder how many of us are miserable at our jobs, working a mundane routine forty hours a week and missing out on greater challenges and creative avenues?  I’ve done my homework, I’ve planned, worked, created and prayed for the opportunity to jump from the nest.

When?  How?  What?

I continue to believe that my dream will happen…but for now, it’s back to work, living with miserable co workers and dealing with the same problems day after day. At least I have a job…right?

How many of you are miserable working at your job?

Do you feel stuck because you can’t afford to do what you really want to do?

Are you  living your dream?

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Visit http://sherrylcook.com   for my personal website and how I plan to break free!     🙂

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4 comments on “What am I doing here?

  1. butimbeautiful
    March 8, 2013

    I’ve felt just like that – used to, for years. But now I do have my dream job and funnily it isn’t what I would have constructed for myself. It’s policy officer at a small community organisation. what makes the difference is caring about the impact of the work, having really lovely colleagues,and having 2 1/2 days off a week! It came after I left my last horrible job with a large package – taking a bit of a risk (but not so much as if I’d left with no money). You have to have a reasonable prospect of financial survival if you jump, I think, but then – leap for all you’re worth.

  2. diannegray
    March 7, 2013

    This is very frustrating, Sherry! While the govt. is too busy paying their ‘first class’ expenses, those who really need help are missing out. What you’re doing is amazing and I know I certainly wouldn’t have the patience or heart to do your job. I really don’t know what to say to you. I worked for many years in a job I hated, then as soon as I got some money together I quit my job and moved to the country (which I absolutely love). All I can say is ‘work towards something’ and visualise where you are going to be when you leave there. Believe me – it can happen!

    • sherrylcook
      March 9, 2013

      Good advice… And happy that you have your dream job. I am a believer that things happen when they are supposed to. I am prepared or at least I think I am… Lol

    • sherrylcook
      March 9, 2013

      So happy for you Dianne, I remember reading your post about leaving the city and leaving your job and I visualized it was me! Ahhh so liberating… Lol. It’s going to happen and I can’t wait to write about it!

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This entry was posted on March 7, 2013 by in Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , .
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