"Seeing" things a little differently
Tell us about the last time you were really, truly jealous of someone. Did you act on it? Did it hurt your relationship?
For the thousandth time that green-eyed monster appeared before me, flaring its nostrils and glaring at me with those wicked eyes that only jealousy can do. I flinched, knowing exactly who you are and why you have appeared before me yet again. I take a deep breath as if to muster every bit of courage inside of me to wish this green monster away.
As I begin the routine of reasoning in my mind that it is not my fault that I have a physical birth defect on my face that cannot be hidden. It’s not my fault that I have poor eyesight and have to make excuses for it. It is out of my control and I must live with it. There is no choice for my fate in life and most importantly…it is not another’s fault that they seem perfect, beautiful and no shortcomings whatsoever.
Slowly the monster fades away, knowing that I have won the battle yet again. The monster will return when my self-esteem hits another low point and I am faced with stares, questions and rude comments. I will face this battle again and again but for now, I shall go on about my day, trying to stay positive and not holding any grudges towards anyone.
This is the battle that I endured for most of my life. I learned as a young child that I had to accept my fate in life. Now at the wonderful age of 52, I am experiencing a new-found self-confidence and love for life. Two years ago I had three surgeries and received an artificial eye which resulted in a “normal” look. Now, instead of stares and questions, people look right over me….what a glorious feeling! My goal is to teach others to have gratitude for even the smallest things in life. Everyone is special and no one is perfect.