"Seeing" things a little differently
Most of us fall into a combination of being both a Pretender and full of confidence. .
When we are young we pretend to be many things, our imaginations run wild while we discover our talents and interests. We learn what we are good at and find confidence within.
Confidence is a wonderful thing, it can bring opportunities and positive people into our lives leading you into a path of success.
Too much confidence attracts just the opposite, which leads you into becoming the great Pretender.
Why do people pretend to be someone they are not? The list is long but some examples are – low self-esteem, failure, trying to impress, getting through a difficult situation, embarrassment, covering up inner feelings, etc.
All these examples lead to the same thing…
Why do we feel…even at a very young age, that we must be as good or better than others?
I feel as though I’m an expert on this subject because I was born with a rare birth disorder that caused me to have a deformed looking eye and also suffering from low vision. Growing up hearing everyone ask me “what is wrong with your eye?’ Every time I met someone or just passing someone in a store…seeing the stares and comments were unbearable.
People with disabilities suffer from humility on a daily basis. It follows us and defines who we are. Human nature has a tendency to be cruel and ruthless.
For me personally, I turned into the Great pretender. As far as I can remember…I pretended to be normal. I avoided making eye contact or talking about the way my eye looked. I never admitted that I had low vision unless I was forced too. Daily, sometimes hourly I was reminded by others or situations that I was the girl with the deformed looking eye.
Even though it was devastating to me inside…on the outside no one really knew how I felt and how much I hurt. BUT…that being said…I learned to blend in as good as I could. I made the conscious decision to make the best out of my life as I could…with what I had. It was truly a battle inside my soul..to overcome and love my life.
The lesson to be learned here is…never underestimate why someone is a great pretender. People who suffer from this are usually hiding something that hurts them deep inside.
Yes, there are the people who lie, cheat, steal, and use other people for their own self-worth. then leave them hanging when they are through with you. These people are also suffering from their own demons.
I know a little about this also.
At the age of 50, I had the opportunity to correct the eye deformity. I underwent three surgeries and received an artificial eye. My condition was extreme and technology had gotten to a place to make my life better than ever. For the first time, I could go to a public place and not get stared at. No more embarrassment…People can’t even tell I have an artificial eye!
Talk about confidence! I felt free…free from humility, low self-esteem, explaining myself to others and not measuring up to what the social environment says we should look like.
Now…at the age of 53 I am enjoying the “next” half of my life with self-confidence, love and a gift to share with others of overcoming obstacles in life and coming out better, wiser and stronger.
Are you full of confidence or have you ever suffered from Imposter Syndrome?